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5 Ways to Put Excitement Back Into Your Marriage

Written By: LaQuista Erinna, DBH, LCSW | THRIVE Behavioral Health & Consulting, LLC |

The effects of marriage on mental health can be very good or extremely toxic. It is important to nourish your marriage with healthy behaviors and spontaneity. After being married for a couple of years, my husband and I quickly fell into a monotonous rut. Every day it was the same thing – get up, go to work, come home, play with our son, eat dinner, go to bed, and repeat. Before either one of us knew it, we were both bored and searching for excitement in our marriage. Hopefully, what we learned about adding excitement back into a marriage will help your relationship. Here is what we learned: 

1. Have a Life Outside Your Marriage

It is important to develop and cultivate relationships and experiences outside of your marriage. Spending time with friends, discovering a new hobby, or focusing on a personal fitness goal can all be ways in which you ensure your personal wellbeing. This independence creates a much-needed balance in your marriage. You are more likely to appreciate the time spent with your spouse when you aren’t spending every waking moment together.

2. Check Yourself

Are your expectations of your marriage realistic? It is easy to watch a reality show or hear your bestie describe their “perfect” relationship and start the comparisons. This isn’t fair nor practical. Every relationship is different and should be defined by the two people who actually made vows to one another. So when you’re starting to feel bored, check to make sure your concern is valid. Remember the things that made you fall in love with your partner.

3. Change Up The Game

Try something new. This can be anything from a new restaurant, an exciting activity, or even changing it up in the bedroom. Communicate with your spouse and let them know that you want to explore something different. If something isn’t working or has become boring, let your partner know so you can figure out solutions together.

4. Date Your Spouse

As busy professionals or parents, it can be easy to neglect the little things. When you first started dating, you probably spent time going on dates and getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes. Be intentional about dating to get to know your spouse better. Our likes and dislikes may have changed over the years. Plan a date night – your spouse will appreciate the effort. If you have hectic schedules, make sure to put it on the calendar and make it a regular event.

5. Get Physical

Intimacy is more than just sex. It can include intimate conversations, sensual touch, or passionate kisses. Surprise your spouse by giving him or her a relaxing spa treatment at home. Skin Deep  Lavender Kit includes a luxurious body wash, body scrub, and body soufflé. After a relaxing shower using these products, give your spouse a slow sensual massage using the body soufflé. Try lavender for a serene scent that will be sure to take the stress away after a busy day at work. 


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